Learning How To Bail...

A friend of mine, Megan, has insisted that I figure out how to bail when I get into situations that I "know" I don't belong in. This got me thinking. What exactly does that mean? 

A daydream or two later- I'm floating along in my kayak. Wee! Cruising along under sunny skies and calm waters when, wham-o, rapids and thunderstorms. Freaking Awesome. And now I'm taking on water. Unfortunately- I don't have a skirt on my kayak and I also didn't bring a bucket to start ditching this water with. Did I mention that I'm no Michael Phelps?

New daydream. I'm in jail. Umm, WTF Mate?! How did I get here? Stupid decisions. Bad, bad choices. Taking chances that I know I shouldn't take. Ok, fine. How do I get out? Someone needs to post bail. Wait... "someone" needs to get me out of something I got myself into? This can't be right. 

Lately I'm constantly reminded that I am quite the intuitive character. I have strong gut instincts when it comes to my personal, professional, and family life. Usually, my instincts are somewhat pre-mature. Meaning- I get these feelings/thoughts about a relationship, a circumstance at work, whatev and it just seems insane that my feelings could even be possible. Then, tada, I am once again 100% correct. RATS!

Why is it that when I get an inkling about the fate of my relationship, the immoral decision of a friend, or the landslide of a case I have- I don't spring into action right away? Here I am, dating someone for over two months and he started acting like the sketch ball of the year and I just put up with it. I decided that I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Then when he started acting certifiable and crazy, I looked the other way and again- put up with it. I board a plane, land in Massachusetts one night, get an "I'll call in a bit, Babe" the next night and he lands in Trash City and gets married to someone he's only known for two to three weeks. Bam, he doesn't want me to hate him and wants us to be besties. Maybe he can get MY name tattooed on the other butt cheek. I'd like a different font please. Okthanksbye.

Lets just ignore the 200lb Pink Gorilla I just let into the room. The point is that I've got to know when to peace out. This is growing increasingly unhealthy for my life and it also is probably driving my friends freakin' batty. Although, most of them have retold my latest and greatest relationship disaster to all of their friends and family because they think it's the funniest thing ever. Funny? Maybe in a month or two I'll decide I can laugh about it. Right now- it's still insane and I still feel wicked stupid. Thirty Fold.

So, as Megan suggested, I really need to stop putting up with situations that I know I don't belong in, and start bailing. This isn't just a problem I have in relationships, but also friendships, things I put up with at work, and in other settings. I swear since I moved down south I have become much more of a doormat instead of the spitfire I used to be. I need to mesh the "no worries" mentality with the "move bitch get out my way" philosophy.

I wouldn't walk down a dark alley in the middle of the night for fear of putting myself in dangerous situation. Yet, when I get that same eerie feeling about other things- I don't break out the flashlight because I'm afraid my instincts are right. I mean, who is scared of being right anyways? 

Dude, I should be blasting Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" in honor of my new mindset. 

Pass me a bucket and give me my one phone call. I'm done putting up with this ish. We'll talk about the pink gorilla another time. Or never. It's cool.