Please Come to Charleston in the Springtime....

For those of you that are not aware, or if you're completely in denial of my northern upbringing, I am a Massachusetts native. Born and raised just off the Rhode Island border in a little town that no one knew existed. Well, that is until I started roaming the earth. Anyways, while I paraded around in my Masshole skin, I attended the University of Massachusetts- aka Zoomass. I won't welcome you to the Jungle in this blog, but I will introduce you to some ladies with some amazing super glue. While these two particular ladies are not the ONLY Boston girls that I hold in my heart, they are the most recent visitors to my new home in Charleston, SC. 

Meet Suzanne. Also referred to as Questionie. Why? Because she asks a lot of questions. If you've got your new beau on the other line- don't hand her the phone or she'll threaten his life. In most of my cases- it was well deserved. But anyways. I've lost track- but Suzanne has done her fair share of finding the shattered pieces of my heart and trying to glue them together again. She's always the voice of reason, sometimes harsh reasoning, but always reasonable. She is also always kind of sparkly. It's true. Always wearing cute little do-dads. 

Meet Katie. Also referred to as Katie Treat. Why? I'm not entirely sure why but I do know that she is famous for sending me treat mail! It seems every time I've hit my new "low" I land back in Boston. She is always calm and collected in her counseling sessions. The best part is when I "land" back home- it is only a matter of time before I've got a note in my mailbox. She's always good about reminding me that I'm surely not alone in the mess I'm trying to sort out. I even get notes on Valentine's Day saying Cheers to being Single on V-Day! 

     

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And so I ask: Did they tell you WHY your plane was delayed? I never get on until they give me more information.

Suzanne: KATIE! We were supposed to ask what was wrong with the plane. (to flight attendant)- Excuse Me. Excuse Me!

Aside from almost experiencing their first tornado in the South- they arrived in one piece and off we went to the "K House." First things first- Poe's Tavern on Sullivan's Island and a follow up pitcher or two at Red's Ice House. We weren't at Poe's five minutes before Katie had fallen head over heels with Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka. Can you blame her? 

The next day we roamed around the Angel Oak Tree on Johns Island. Dined at Jim n Nicks BBQ while sipping on $3 Margaritas. We also bounced from Chais, to Moe's, to the Griffin and back to the K House for more Margaritas. I somehow conned the girls into going to the Pirate Museum/Restaurant at the old City Bar. We also took multiple tours of the harbor, downtown, and self guided tours by your favorite Boston turned Charleston Girl! We bounced around the Open Air Market, Historic King Street Shopping, The Farmer's Market and the Battery. 

Katie and Suzanne

My favorite day? Clearly "Katie Meets Sonic," and "My Birthday" night. Slated as a typical "Girls Night Out," we were only fooling ourselves thinking a night out with 6 girls from all over the country would be anything typical. I should have known when I pulled out of the Boulevard Diner in Mt. P that it was going to be a fun night. Prior to take off Katie sings "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE." Then I pulled into oncoming traffic and plopped us into the suicide lane. I heard a faint gasp and then "As Karen kills us before my dreams come true" from the back of the car. In my defense- if she would have just texted her friends like she was supposed to she wouldn't have known there were cars coming. Anywho- We arrive at Sonic and the girls are euphoric over the girl on roller skates. So much so that they have their camera's ready as the poor girl skates up to deliver the goodies. I pulled the girls back into the car after they begged for autographs and quickly took them to a special spot to eat our treats.

Tell me she doesn't look HORRIFIED

I wanted the girls to see my boat ramp at Remley's Point. This is the place I go with my imaginary boat and practice backing it off the ramp. Ahem, in my Toyota Corolla. I usually then go and sit at the end of the dock and wait for my sanity to return. In typical Suzanne fashion- she makes friends with some local fisherman off the end of the pier and all but gives them the longitude and latitude coordinates of the K House. Thankfully we are used to Suzanne and the Southern Folk are used to friendly people. We then zoomed home and got ready for our Girls Night Out!

After mixing drinks and jamming to a wonderful mix I made- we were on the prowl. We landed at The Rooftop at Vendue Inn and then jumped over to the Pavillion Rooftop where Katie somehow managed to find some dudes from Boston. Typical. But good news- they bought us JagerBombs. Typical? Totally. Ok just one time I promise- jagerbomb-jagerbomb-jagerbomb! Guidos Unite! Down the elevator we go and land at The Brick (a personal fav) where we find Allison and friends! I'm in the midst of sipping my Long Island Iced Tea when the hot guitarist yells "WHERE IS KAREN?!"  Clearly I didn't think he was referring to me. Well that is until all 8 girls we were with started to point to Me. After a small out of body experience I realize they are singing Happy Birthday... to ME! So I go along with it because this isn't the first time I've celebrated my birthday in July (woot woot Erin). At the end of the song the hot guitarist wished me happy birthday... among other unmentionables. Why he didn't ask for my number when he came to hang out with us 10 minutes later is beyond me. RUDE! After all it was my f'ing birthday for crying out loud! Whatev. It was a fabulous time of dancing and singing with the girls.

Happy Birthday to ME!?!!

My favorite part of the whole trip was not to show them how much tequila I consume- but to show them what life is truly like for me. How I get to run the bridge, walk the pier, jump in the ocean, stroll past fancy boutiques, and lay under billion year old oak trees that have Michael Jackson's face poking through the bark. They also got to see WHY I run the bridge so often- my ass would blow up with all the delicious food we have here! (I did bring them places other than Sonic).  The city of Charleston is undeniably beautiful and the history can be mesmerizing with the right tour guide! 

When I dropped Katie and Suzanne off at the airport it was a sad goodbye. They were the first "back home" friends I've had visiting me! It was also scary because Katie told me I made the biggest mistake ever being a great hostess because they are going to come back again! I'm not sure why it was given in such a threatening tone but I'm boarding up my house as we speak! 

So in the meantime- I get to countdown to my next trip to Boston.... how many more days until Thanksgiving?? 

Liar, Liar, Your Pants are on Fire

"I wandered through Fiction to look for the Truth. Buried beneath all the Lies" 

-Goo Goo Dolls 

So- What's the biggest Lie you've ever told? The most earth shattering, heartbreaking, tear you up inside Lie you've ever told? 

A few weeks back I had a bunch of friends over for some drinks and good conversation prior to going out for the night. Somehow the subject of "lies" was brought up and someone asked that same question: What is the BIGGEST Lie you've ever told? Now- I will say this- Hands did not fly up in the air to volunteer! He-who-must-not-be-named volunteered the biggest lie he could think of on the spot. He told a story about a trip to Boy Scout Camp (or something) with a good friend. Along the way there they hooked their Gameboy's up and played against each other. At the end of the trip- they couldn't remember whose Gameboy was whose! One device had clearly been beaten up, the other looked brand new. So this person secretly carved his name in the battery cover of the newer Gameboy. Suddenly, "Hey Dude I just remembered- I carved my name in the battery case of my Gameboy!" 

Funny right? But life altering? Nah. Especially knowing that this person doesn't live a life of criminal behavior and constant deceit of those around him. We all do greedy or selfish things, however, some of us carry those behaviors throughout our lives. 

While I sit here and type this therapeutic piece- I cannot for the life of me think of the worst Lie I've ever told. I doubt it's because my friends and family read my blog. I'm sure there were many times I lied about cleaning my room when I shoved my toys under my bed instead. But, I think for me the biggest "lies" I've told are those things that I haven't told others. Those things I saw that I should have spoken up about. Things I've experienced but never leaked it to another ear. Or even those choices I've made and chose not to tell those whose lives were affected by my choice. Are those lies worse? Those things you don't tell the people you care about because you know it will hurt them? Is that a Lie? I'm not sure. 

Another thing I'm not sure about: Why do people Lie? What is the freaking point? Clearly I'm not talking about "little white lies" here. We've all been in situations where we had to openly confess or come forward with information that we knew would upset those the words fell on. But does it make you a hero to change the truth? Are you doing that person a favor by "shielding" them from this pain? No. People need truth. Why? Because they can't truly cope without it. Because that is what everyone searches their whole life for- Truth. You can't let someone live seconds, minutes, hours of their lives without the truth. It isn't fair. They alter their thoughts and lives based on the lie you've sold them. Then some rainy day down the road they fall face first over the truth that you've tried to protect them from. And for what? For YOU to sleep at night. For you to think you weren't the "bad guy". Or for you to feel the relief that you've gotten away without the person you love seeing the red paint on your hands. 

I work with children. Ages 3-14- sometimes higher. I get to see a good progression of lying. Generally speaking, the younger kids come right out and tattle on themselves. "I punched Johnny because he broke my crayon." Sometimes if you're lucky they'll assign themselves a punishment. Anyways, I digress. You know when they're 3 years old and lying about having gone potty in their pants. You know the truth before you ask the question. Or when they're in 2nd grade and they stole their pals bouncy ball- the smirk is usually a tell tale sign. But how do they progress from the smirk to lying to your face? How does it become such an acceptable thing? What is so acceptable about wronging someone you care about? I guess maybe that's the real question- Do you care enough about them to choose to do the right thing? To avoid temptation? To protect them by NOT wronging them? Or is it just human nature- some innate part of all of us?

Who knows. I do know that it would be much easier if people's pants really caught on fire after they told a big Lie! So if you've lied about where you've been, who you've been with, what you were doing, how long you've been doing it, how you feel, or if you've held back answers to someone's unasked questions- knowing they need to hear the words... I hope you choose to be honest. I hope you choose to tell the truth. Maybe the pain it takes to speak those words will help you to make better decisions in the next round. To avoid hurting those you love by making the right choice the first time. We've only got so many moments in life- we might as well live them the honest way. 

Next Question: What is the nicest thing you've ever done for someone? The most heart filling, ground shaking, mountain moving, life changing thing you've ever done for someone? 

Having trouble? Maybe that should tell us something....

"So live like you mean it. Love 'til you feel it. It's all we need in our lives." 

- "Before it's too Late"  By: Goo Goo Dolls